The Potential of Habits
1. Stage:
Waking up
When I woke up today I felt a bit foggy in my mind.
When I realized I am looking at my phone to search for a good track to accompany my morning routine, I had to admit that I completely zoned out and had no idea how I got out of bed, got dressed, made my bed etc..
I was not present until I checked my phone to search for that track.
Intense dreams, warm and humid climate these days, much on my plate for the day, some of my clients going through a rough patch..
Somehow I managed to go to the toilet, brush my teeth, take a shower, make my bed and even organize my room without a seconds notice.
And It kind of felt good to not be present.
But where was I?
2. Stage:
Reflection
I found that I held the firm belief, that having to think consciously of all these little actions one at a time with full awareness would mean so much more juice already going out the window.
Just like considering if I feel like doing my cold shower today, or noticing how stiff I feel when I crawl out of bed, what feeling I have when brushing my teeth and so on.
So standing in the middle of the room, barely clothed, holding on to my phone I had to simply settle for the fact that all the spiritual talk, all the fancy ideologies, achievements, lifestyles and so on do not count a thing if I am not present enough to enjoy the present moment or at least to note it to some degree.
3. Stage:
Digging the roots
Lets go for a quick dive into how our magnificent command center works.
Why and most of all, when do these moments of "zoning-out" actually occur?
The human brain is only toped in its complexity, efficiency and capacity to adapt and change by mother Earth herself.
The green, beautiful ball we walk about each day.
Our Scientists have found that our capacity for creating new synaptic connections, neurogenesis, basically building new brain cells and even recuperating from severe brain damage up and into old age is mostly linked to and limited only by the amount we learn and involve ourselves in explorational tasks.
Following curiosity, learn, observe and investigating anything that is happening around us.
Much like a child.
That means even if we have day to day jobs, lives that consist of rather similar daily chores, tasks, actions and so on, we still are picking up immense amounts of information during our waking states.
To minimize efforts and energetic waste, our evolution has brought a plan into being and made sure we get comfortable with it, so that we are able to follow and enjoy even more novelty (more on that subject in a later journey) that we can potentially learn from and that might one day save that our lives:
Automation.
The mechanism of automating anything and everything that has had a certain value to us and has been repeated over time.
4. Stage:
Clearing the clutter
So that we do not have to try and fail to learn all over again, our brain marked these successes and failures of our attempts in understanding and learning to work with something.
And the more time we spent with any subject, the more information went into the respective "Box" in our brain, labeled with the subject.
Like "How-to-write-letters-and-numbers-well".
Simply said.. If holding my toothbrush this morning with my right hand, has proven to be efficient in getting the job at least halfway done and I do not smell out of my mouth or got half the dinner of yesterday still in between my teeth, its a success and will be put into the box that is labeled with "How-to-brush-my-teeth-and-make-them-clean".
And every time I invest a little bit of attention to brushing my teeth, my brain will find something to optimize the process.
To make it more efficient.
And I do not even notice that.
My brain just does that without using my precious Attention!
Great, right??
The automation of actions provides the space in my brain that can then be occupied with thinking, feeling or generally noting what is going on around me.
That part, that has to be present so that my toothbrush is not accidentally falling out of my hand while performing the task.
5. Stage
Investigation
Lets take any skill I would like to learn for example.
Lets say I would love to shoot with my Bow and Arrows and become good at it.
Since I have never actually found the time to practice and get clean shots, I would have to invest some time, study shooting techniques, try them out, maybe look up videos, find a professional or any sort of teacher and, how we like to say in Martial Arts:
"Get the Repetitions in"
Repeating the action to fill the new Box in my brain.
Because with any and every repetition, my brain picks up details.
Say I have watched plenty of videos and got some premium advice of a friend whos very good at archery.
I am standing on the shooting range and shoot like 100 arrows.
For my mind, seeing how I miss and miss and miss the mark it is simply failures or success. I enjoy the process of shooting but not much else.
For my brain however it is amazing amounts of new data on something I have never done much before and it is very busy collecting information and puzzling together this new action I am performing!
Even if I did not notice that my pinky finger just slid a littler lower and therefore I got that little bit more accurate, my brain did notice it!
And what is more to that, my brain is investigating while I am having fun with a new toy, skill and being outdoors etc.
Noting and calculating on trials, errors and successes.
So the new box, labeled "How-do-I-shoot-with-a-bow" slowly but steadily gets filled with little bits and parts of information.
Like an ever expanding puzzle.
6. Stage:
Truth
Other skills and things I did for many years, like driving a bicycle or a Car, I can do today with such security and confidence, that I can do it free handed, drinking, eating, calling...
well of course we do not do that, but you know. Just that well.
Other things, like reacting to the banging of the washing machine of the cute old lady next door, falling out of bed in the middle of the night because she just had to put in another load at 12 at night..
Thinking what an annoying old hag that one is, maybe clenching my fists, calling her names, running around frustrated and looking for ways to stuff my ears..
How I react to such a situation is also due to automations.
It was not the first time you know..
There was that first time of course.
But back then I was rather O.K. with it.
Thinking "Well if it does not happen again" or maybe making a rough joke.
But then it actually DID happen again.
And again.
And.. well.
Each time I sophisticated my judgment of her, my approach to solve the issue without just going out and yelling at the 90 year old women with insomnia.
So my Box labeled with "Reacting-to-the-nagging-sound-that-keeps-me-up-all-night" got real full in that time.
And here is another vital Information about the complexity and refinement of that mechanism:
If it worked once, it will most certainly work again.
Meaning, that If I did not completely go crazy, run out of my room and shout at the lady, then this reaction was a success, because the latter outcome would have been a failure in my mind.
And it was not the first time I got woken up by nagging sounds in the middle of the night.
Or being frustrated in general.
And I so in the bigger picture of this mechanism, I Learned how to cope with such unpleasant situations.
Guess where I saw first how to deal with such Difficulties?
(More on triggers and where we learn them in a future Newsletter)
And by the way.. The washing automation? That habit of the old lady?
The same thing.
If she cant sleep at night, she might as well do something with that time and so she just washes her clothes.
7. Stage:
How can I use this?
Lets talk about what this all means and what we can do with this information.
In order to start and handle these Automations or, how most people call them, habits, we need to understand how they are built.
Simple Math:
Action
+
Repetition
=
Routine
+
~ 30+ Repetitions
=
Habit Outline
Bottom line:
Anything and everything you repeat in a certain setting over more than roughly 30 times (depending on the person) will already result in the rough outline of a habit.
Constructive and destructive alike.
Meaning you will integrate the action to the degree where you are comfortable doing it this way and keep doing it in that particular situation.
There is a famous quote I particularly:
"We are but the sum of our habits that we have built in our lives."
Intense right?
And now the exciting part:
Think of anything that you would like to create a habit out of, such as not snoozing the alarm in the morning or shutting the phone off before going to bed.
Give yourself a fixed timeframe of around 30 Days.
>To shape the outline of a habit, 30 days gives you the certainty that your comfortable with it to the extend where you are relaxed with performing the task and do not have to pay attention so much on the details anymore.
Define the task on a manageable level such as reading one page of that book you wanted to finish or give it 2 minutes to try and remember your dreams in the morning.
Even something like not smoking that one cigarettes when you are waiting for the bus works.
Easy, simple tasks, you would not shy away from because they would occupy to much time and effort to perform.
Ask yourself why you want to achieve this, because the "Why" is helping to build that motivation to follow through with it!
(More on how to create lasting motivation in a future Newsletter)
And then make it a challenge to complete a total number of Days that you can be 100% sure you will complete.
I am talking about realistic goals here.
If 30 Days is to much and you feel you can not trust yourself to follow through with it, simply reduce the amount of days you feel you can and want to commit to and that will be your starting point.
8. Stage:
How must I use this
Understand yourself and be honest with what is hindering you or what would benefit you in your life.
Lets draw a picture of a person that understands that he or she has a minor "Social-media-Scrolling" addiction.
Me as the person understands that it takes away round about 1 hour of my day in which I am scrolling through any given social media feed without really gaining anything from it, apart of a novelty fix.
(More on how we are hooked on novelty and how it can controll our lives in a future Newsletter)
Not that I want to stop spending time on social media all together, but maybe reducing it to a total of 30 minutes?
Would be nice to invest that excess of mindless time into something that actually helps me get more fun, valuable experiences and juice out of my life, right?
9. Stage:
How will I use this
I.
I choose, for example, to reduce the time I spend on social media to a total of 30 minutes and make it a challenge to see if I can do it.
II.
And because I know myself, that going for 30 Days right away, would be to much pressure and already demotivate me each time I see that number, I simply change that.
So I choose to give it a try of 7 Days.
For the sake to prove to myself that I can follow through with something like that and maybe one day go for more days and see how to integrate quality habits that support me, even more.
III.
I pick a sheet of paper (yes, a real one).
I write down what I decided.
I create a little box for each day of the challenge and mark them from one to seven.
IV.
Because I know I am rather compulsive with the scrolling and checking, I search and use the built-in Social media timer that actually informs me on the time I have spent daily using the service.
I type in the 30 minutes and turn on the notification to remind me when I get close to using up said 30 minutes.
V.
I put my new "Challenge-Sheet" up and fix it onto some place where I will always see it through out my day.
VI.
And lastly I will now reinforce, maybe write down or tell a friend, share on social media, my commitment to this challenge
with the effective Mindset
"Lets see if I can do this".
Why?
Because this very phrase implies that I will be
"trying my best to complete it!"
That does NOT mean that I HAVE-TO complete it, but that I will see if I can manage this challenge and therefore will take away the pressure that most people already feel when thinking of something they have to commit to these days.
(More on effective Mindsets in a later Newsletter)
Also: I know, if I fail, that simply means, that I have calculated my commitment, the intensity or my actual reason as to why I want to do this wrong and if I want to truly integrate a habit that helps me in my life, like getting rid of procrastination, then I will try again until I succeed!
10. Stage:
Play with it
Now that I understand how my habits are built, why they are built every time I do something and how I can pro-actively choose supportive little habits to get through my days and build a more fulfilling life each day, step-by-step I can take ownership of what is happening in my life.
But only if I can find a curious and playful approach to learning and trying new things.
(Again, I will cover Mindsets and attitudes on a future Newsletter)
To help you and get you started, I have created a simple sheet to build new habits.
Click the Button bellow to get a free copy of it and that you just have to fill out and get started with what ever new habit you would like to build.
Have fun and enjoy the ride.
Reflections are key, actions the door!